Romantical Ramblings

Lauren O'Brien
January 27, 2011
HNRS 3:30 - 4:20
Letter about Rationality

Dear Josh,

Guess what! I've recently adopted rationality as a way of thinking. This means...(two pages later...)

Josh? I wish that I had dated before so that I wouldn’t be scared to go after you. Even though I shouldn’t because, one – you’re my teacher and I don’t think it’s aloud (remember that girl you showed off to your girlfriend? She was out of your class two years before you did anything), two – I don’t feel mature enough to be with you, which is sad, and I am definitely not as good as your long time ex-girlfriend, and I don’t know how to hang out with your friends three – I’m too insecure for ANY type of dating, I question everything and feel incompetent… four – you probably see me as a younger sister not a possible…friend…that’s a girl… five – I don’t feel smart enough for you UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I hate having a crush on you. I hate crushes in general. I wish I didn’t dream about you – not just dream but daydream and in those daydreams you reject me too, or are my brother, which is MESSED UP. I need help. JOSHY JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSHUA and now I’ve written you a letter about my feelings for you instead of rationality. You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray you’ll never know dear how much I love you please don’t take my sunshine away! Ill always love you and make you happy if you will only say the same but if you leave me and love another you’ll regret it all some day you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray you’ll never know dear how much I love you please don’t take my sunshine way. What would Jodi think? (Why do I care about what she’ll think? Why do I care about what anyone would think?) You have shattered all of my dreams. Should I pursue this? I want to but I know I shouldn’t. Plus I don’t even know if I want to? I feel sort of like the lady with the pet dog, but I’m not having an affair am I? Oh god, I would be the girl sleeping with the professor wouldn’t I? But you know, metaphorically and not the professor but the peer facilitator so it’s not as bad right? I just wrote a whole page to you in like less than five minutes, which is almost more than I’ve written to you about rationality, which took me like an hour. I should stop but now I can’t get my mind off of you and this and everything. Oh! Six – I think I’m too lazy for you. You’re a workaholic I’m a lazy student. I don’t want to do homework or my internship or even go out which is sort of a lie I wish my friends and I went out more because then I could meet more people and not feel so lazy. GODS! I hate how Emilee had to notice my infatuation with you! And say that you had it with me! No nononononono NO! ughhhhhhhh. I’m going to keep this so that I can go back over it some time and maybe even add to it. Oh! Seven – you’re like twenty-two or three, that’s like four or five years older than me! (Why did it take until number seven to mention that?) maybe it doesn’t even matter, I mean, that’s the age difference between mom and dad…, eight – do you even WANT to be in a relationship? I mean, you practically just got out of that (bazillion) years relationship so maybe you aren’t even looking for anyone. I don’t know. I’m confused. I’m cliché.

Now, on to how I’ll use rationality in regards to leadership….

Rivers, Creeks, and Streams of Consciousness

Let's take a little peak in to my head, shall we?

I want to start writing on this again, but more like short stories. I think I will. It'll be like fanfiction (yes, I read fanfiction) but on this so no one will read it, which is fine with me! okay, yes. That's what I'm going to do. I hope no one I know ever finds this, that would suck. I haven't written in so long that the people I have told or shown this to hopefully just won't remember...I just talked to Jessica Findley about blogs in general. She likes food blogs, I don't really, I mean, they CAN be interesting but I'm just not a food person, you know? Okay, i have to write my papers now before my bladder explodes because I'm NOT going up (and getting distracted) before I finish this paper on rationality.

End brain dump.