Moods

Cassi came...and Cassi went.

She was here for five days, but it felt like five seconds. Despite the fact that it went by faster than I would have liked, we had a blast! Every time she comes up I realize how awesome she is and how we'll be best friends forever, no matter how long we go without seeing each other.
My dad took pictures of us on her last day here so when he picks out the best one, I will put it up on here.


I'm trying to get inspired here, to write something of interest, but nothing is happening...

I can say that I'm kind of sad no one has said anything to me about my This I Believe because I honestly need help with it...

I've been slightly depressed these last two days, and I don't know if it has to do with Cassi leaving, or school starting or what but it is really bringing me down...I sometimes just start to cry,which is really out of character for me because I hate crying, especially in front of someone. I guess no one really likes to be seen crying, but when I am caught, which I assure you does not happen often, I get really nasty and mean, which in turn makes me more depressed or sad.
I sometimes hate how average I am. I mean I am smart, but not brilliant, I'm O.K. looking, but not beautiful, I sing good, but not great, I live in a small upper class town and will go to a nice college where I will get a degree in business or something along those lines. Even my name is ordinary, Lauren Racheal (yes, that is how I spell it) O'Brien. Go ahead and search me, YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME! That is how ordinary I am, my name is so common hundreds of people have it....I just found 24 people on twitter who have my name, and I am talking to them right now. Whenever people talk about my sister and I and what they see us doing when we're older they say (and this is a direct quote from my mother) "Darbi, I see you becoming famous and discovering something big. Lauren, I see you working hard at your job and taking care of your family." Yep. that is what she said. I never told her that I loathed what she said or that it wouldn't be that way because I believe it. That is just how my life is going to go, and it sucks.

I feel lonely. My sister has had her group of three that she's known her whole life and has been hanging out with them or her boyfriend everyday this summer. (another depressing thought: Darbi who is 2 years younger than me has had a boyfriend for the past 5 months, and this isn't her first. while I haven't had anything resembling a boyfriend besides Peter, which doesn't count) Both my parents are extremely busy with work recently so they don't have time for me either. My only close friend in town has volleyball or babysitting every hour of every day. So I'm by myself, ranting to you in a rediculously cliche-teenage-everything-is-about-me kind of way. It sickens me.

I'm sorry for this really uninspiring post,
Lauren
PS~ I decided I don't like my pen name (humming sue) so I don't think I'll use it anymore.